Skullcrusher Mountain

This song was written by Jonathan Coulton, who was part of the reason I was inspired to start this website. The first time I saw him perform, someone in the audience asked him to perform his favorite song that he had written, which turned out to be this song. I decided to honor his work by mangling and embellishing it unnecessarily.

If you want to hear the song sung by someone not switching wildly between bass and falsetto, you can download the original song on Jonathan Coulton's site.


Released on 16 February 2011.





Welcome to my super secret lair on Skullcrusher Mountain
I hope that you’ve enjoyed your stay so far
I see you’ve met my assistant Scarface
His appearance is quite disturbing
But I assure you he’s harmless enough
He’s a sweetheart, he calls me master
And he has a way of finding pretty things and bringing them to me

And I’m so into you
But I’m way too smart for you
Even my hunchmen think I’m crazy
I’m not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You’d see the voices that control me all up inside my head
Say I shouldn’t kill you yet

I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
But I get the feeling that you don’t like it
What’s with all the screaming?
You like monkeys, you like ponies
Maybe you don’t like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many monkeys
Isn’t it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?

I’m so into you
But I’m way too smart for you
Even my Frenchmen think I’m crazy
I’m not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You’d see the voices that control me from up inside my head
Say I shouldn’t kill you yet

Picture the two of us alone inside my golden submarine
While up above the waves my doomsday squad ignites the atmosphere
And all the fools who lead their foolish lives may find it quite explosive
Well it won’t mean half as much to me if I don’t have you here

You know it isn’t easy living here on Skullcrusher Mountain
Maybe you should cut me a little slack
Would it kill you to be civil?
I’ve been patient and I’ve been gracious
And this mountain is covered in wolves
Hear them howling, my hungry children
Maybe you should stay and have another drink and think about me and you, girl

I’m so into you
But I’m way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I’m crazy
I’m not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You’d see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn’t kill you yet
I shouldn’t kill you yet
I shouldn’t kill you yet


Recently, on my Twitter:

What Daft Punk's Get Lucky would've sounded like in each decade since the 1920s. http://t.co/QZfzOF8JUS
Tim Cook, I like you, but please stop saying "do the math" when you mean "read the statistics".
RT @Pogue: oops! That great article on finishing Web articles was by @fmanjoo, not Dan Ariely--sorry! (Dan posted it to Facebook; thought it was his!)
Theory of mind can be a bitch sometimes.
Don't want to buy songs,
but want to support what I do?

Sign up for my mailing list!

Email: